Recently some friends and I had this conversation in our own online group. The notion was "how should you live your life; and how would you want others to live their lives?"

I thought it was a very good question. As a designer, a teacher and a non-paying adviser to some of the most expensive questions. (I really should demand some service fee, it shouldn't have been free but they are my old school mates), other than the skills and experience to do the job well and value add human and humane living; it has to be the ability to deliver happiness to people.

So my quick reply to that question focused on 3 aspects: 'Fun, cheery and happy'. Why would I insist on that ? People these days take things too seriously. Over seriousness has its pros and cons. While it does provide the propensity to work efficiently, it usually builds up tension that forces people to do things pretty differently, usually negatively & ineffectively.

Life is such that people take every damned word too seriously. They take too much emphasis on being serious and powerful, aiming on climbing the social ladder. Medical studies show being cheerful extends life. Being funny and humorous has an enormous positive energy in both personal and work life. It probably does more on improving the quality of life as a whole at a much smaller cost.

We often talk about service, and we often talk about products to improve life. While these processes are important, we may well need an often overlooked soft skill that empowers us - 'being sanguine'. It cost nothing but it can be hard to develop this unique quality. Being genuinely sanguine requires one to be truly carefree and be open to different people. That itself is one sheer power in keeping this world a much fun and peaceful place, as most hatred and war stems out on the disability on how to take life easy and simplified.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you can't do anything very much.
If you can't laugh and enjoy life, you also shorten your life...
Hope all this makes sense.


reference:

1. Humor proved to extend life : http://www.innovations-report.de/html/berichte/studien/bericht-75728.html

I don't know what else to say other than bemused by the usual social reaction of people. I have been asked (in sophisticated work terms, 'consulted') on how to handle people. It just so happens that in my Inbox there is a thread at PhD-Design Forum that discuses about human nature and the world we are living in. Not a new topic. Other than shaking my head & smiling at the posts, I have nothing to say. Just a daily discourse of merry go round. The reference was nice but it made think of the old reference lists as being pretty much useless, because most people do not preach it honestly. They either do it out of their own benefit for power in the name of 'good' or they do it for money. If people did follow the callings to do good and act upon studiously, we'll not have a civilized mess that we have today.

Hypocrisy is very common; so is the aged old selfishness. While there are as many crap in the world, there is fortunately a good handful of people who are willing to make their modest amount of good. And honestly life has treated them very well. A good example would be Teresa Xuzhe. I can't help to mention her every time such topic arises. The other is the Venerable Jingkong Monk & Mother Teresa. All these people along with many good natured modest citizens around the globe have their own deserved blessings. Strangely life has a way of dealing 'human lies' and that lies will be retributive in a way.


I've always believed that human beings are mostly and mainly evil. It is a pessimistic view but a practical one that cannot be dismissed. As I have mentioned in my non phd style post, there are 2 fundamental ways in which people deal with conflicts: 1. To clobber them by force or 2. To educate the sinful with as much love and patience as you can.

Most people do the former as its faster, and more aggressive way to silence the opposition. Its not just in authoritarian states, but also in other non-authoritarian ones too. Just in daily lives, it is easily seen that many more people do not tolerate opposition, that is why violence is common.

Maybe we should also ask why people act that in a negative and even destructive way. Then maybe perhaps we could work backwards and untie the uncanny knots. There is always a story behind every 'bad' act as with every every 'kind' act. Including those who say such and work on something completely off. IMHO, instead of trying to prosecute the bad and punish them which will never really work, we might as well take the good side of them and use it to work for the good. It has worked so far, and I believe this is a good way to go into. Human nature is such. If you fail to direct them to the good path when they were teachable, I'm afraid punishing them isn't going to be of much use. It will just repeat itself.

If one can even work and turn around odds with this kind of people, please hire the person and elect him/her as a leader. We need such talent to turn the tides and save what is the remains of the day.

Short post note: The simple basis is to merely start from a micro level-self and move up to contribute bit by bit by being good and just nice every day. A genuinely nice person can accept a lot of different people and treat them non-discriminatingly. They are able to judge what is right / wrong and brave to do the distinction. If such a sign is amissed, be sure to expect the junk of the thrash, a typical human of the lowest kind.

I also believe that bullying and discrimination are 2 main issues that are still very much alive despite the campaigns and efforts. I've just had a case where someone just broke down in front of me in a way that it could wrench your heart. It was devastatingly a mental meltdown. And believe me he is not the only one who suffered so. People who extort to bullying tactics to get where they are should be apprehended or at least make to pay for the grievances they have caused.

My blog post reference ties to : My 'unscholarly' post : PHD-DESIGN@jiscmail 5 July 2009 (Singapore Time)

Selected Extract:

Rightly so, which is why the elfin nature off me. If we take close look into the
peculiar nature of the human mind, then you would agree that are many ways of handling different kinds of people in different sectors of the industry. I believe the art of managing people is very important. How else could you solve problems which are basically made by people? You can't solve problems purely on 'tools' like 'infrastructures', 'policies' or even with 'sound theories' without tactfully sort out people. Some people think its about clobbering and hammering down; some people think its about using all the patience in the world to educate the flawed human race.
I think there must be an element of 'urgency' to get people working through uncanny and even humorous ways. The recent implementation of using 'obvious acknowledgment' of people's 'kindness' and 'generosity' works really well in getting positive energies to come in.

that's why I still adamantly feel that simple fun diplomacy works.. How to be fun and serious is really a skill. Before we all startto blow one another up with missiles and bombs from somewhere north, maybe we need to consider something *unconventional*.Maybe we should also ask why people act that way. Then maybe perhapswe could work backwards and untie the uncanny knots. There is always a storybehind every 'bad' act as with every every 'kind' act.Including those who say such and work on something completely off.

If one can even work and turn around odds with this kind of people,
please hire the person and elect him/her as a leader. We need
such talent to turn the tides.